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「清明拜祭的疑惑」——不是説笑

欠缺社交想像力(Social imagination difficulties)

清明節早上,一家人在計劃做什麼。

丈夫:「今早去那裏?」
太太:「當然是拜山?」
兩夫婦等了兩個女兒好一會,時間已差不多中午了。丈夫駕着車在居處樓下等,十二時許,卒之大家登上了車。
丈夫再問:「去那裏?」
太太:「還要問麼?當然是拜山。」
丈夫:「你們說早上去拜山,但現在已中午了,不知是不是拜山。」
太太:「我們不是早已決定了嗎?」
丈夫:「OK,那便開車送你們拜山吧。」
太太:「你們?你不與大家同去嗎?」
丈夫:「我聽到你們早上要拜山,但沒聽見你們要求我中午去拜山。」
太太雙手抓住頭髮,氣結得瀕臨崩潰。
大女兒:「媽,吩咐他現在出發去墳場,一起去拜山就是了。」
小女兒乾脆把耳機戴上聽歌。

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No jokes 不是說笑

『解讀亞氏保加丈夫的話』

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Image source:www.inkace.com

太太:「你老是拿不定主意,好不容易選定了東西才買下,不一會便想回去換貨。」
丈夫:「說錯。」
太太:「你那一樣東西買回來但無換貨?」
丈夫:「老婆…無換過。」
太太:「你說甚麼? #@*&$^%」
丈夫:「不是這意思,你不是買回來的。」

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No Jokes: What’s So Good in Prison?

In Search of Self Direction & Ultimate Goal in An Adult with Asperger.

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Source: http://www.toonpool.com

AS* student B: I always forgot what I should be doing. I need directions. I was late for classes and assignment. In the morning, I should take shower before going out. But I don’t really like taking shower. It took a long while to decide if I wanted to take a shower. I was too busy to go to the morning class. It’s too much for me.

Counselor: What’s that?

AS* student B: It takes more than an hour to shower. There are many steps. Lots of decisions to make. Too consuming.

Counselor: What decisions?

AS* student B: Like choosing the right clothes, finding the right towel for my feet, hair and body, deciding the right temperature of water and…..

Counselor: And what?

AS* student B: I am able to focus in the class when I keep writing notes with pencil and paper. When taking shower, I don’t have a pen to write. My mind wanders and fails to focus. I am used to thinking about philosophical issues while I am taking a shower. It’s consuming. I can’t go to the morning class.

Counselor: Is that all you want to do?

AS* student: I don’t know what I want to do. My parents want me to be clear about my goal.

Counselor: Life goal?

AS* student B: Maybe prisoner.

Counselor: I appreciate your intuitive thought. Could you tell me more?

AS* student B: In prison, people will give me command and expect me to be efficient. They will decide when and what I should do. I know there are education opportunities for prisoners to do higher education.

Counselor: I see. You need the structure and routines as consistent as the prison. Well, the procedures it takes to get imprisoned are complex. Too much logistics. You won’t like it. I guess there’s an easier way to do it.

AS* student B: How?

Counselor: Tell your parents about it.

AS* student B: They are interior designers without special connections with any prison.

Counselor: They know how.

AS* student B: How?

Counselor: How to redesign your house and turn it into the thing you want.

AS* student B: Really? Then, they have to buy in more apartments of the building to expand our place to include other facilities and more inmates. Would you be….

Counselor: Be what?

AS* student B: Be the officer.

Counselor: Thank you.

AS* Asperger Syndrome

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What a Metaphor, What a Compliment! 受竉若驚

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Yesterday, I met a client who was very reflective and able to describe his feelings and thought in concrete terms. His expression often surprises me. 昨天我見過一個愛深思和自省的人,他有種特別天賦能具體表達自己的思想和感情。他説的話有時是我意料之外

Counselor: I am very impressed by your quest for meaning and your desire for personal growth.
輔導員:你尋找生命意義和渴求個人成長的熱誠令我感動。

Client: I am a loner. People don’t really understand me.
案主A: 我是個孤獨者。別人不真正了解我。

Counselor: I thought your reflective personality would bring you and your friends true encounter.
輔導員:我相信你這麼有深度的性格特質,會為你帶來朋友和珍摰的交流。

Client: No.
案主A:無。

Counselor: Why?
輔導員:何解?

Client: Not me. It’s because your talented ability to connect with people has made our encounter. You know….. you are a universal power adaptor.
案主A:不在我。是你溝通的天賦令人表現真我,也促成了我們深入的交流。可知道⋯⋯你是個「萬能蘇頭」。

Counselor Jo: What a metaphor! What a compliment!
輔導員:受𠖥若驚!

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No Jokes: “Autism fix? It’s right there.” 不是説笑:「自閉服務在此!」

Two years ago, my student went aboard to study. He tried to contact whatever services for autism in the neighborhood area. People told him that he might find some useful services in big city like Oxford where a few big hospitals were located.

One evening he went to the Cardiff asking people over the information counter to find the autism unit for him. My student tried different ways to explain how urgent it was to reach these supports for his adjustment. The

receptionist looked at him for a short while. With empathy, she pointed to certain direction for my student to go. “Go quick. It’s over there,” the receptionist reassured him.

My student was surprised that the needed services were just a few steps away. Even more surprising, what he was referred to was the emergency unit.

兩年前,我有位亞斯學生(ASD college student)赴英留學,他在牛津市內四出搜尋支援自閉症成人的服務。他聽聞某些大醫院有相當完備的醫療服務,而英國教育制度亦相當重視自閉症的支援工作。於是,他抵步英國一辧妥大學註冊手續後,便滿懷熱切到附近一間著名的醫院向大堂的職員查詢。

我那學生文質彬彬,一口流利英語,努力向對方解說他如何急切需要治理自閉症帶來的種種適應問題。但意想不到,職員聽了半句便示意我學生不用多説了。她指向醫院大門入口且殷切地說:「進那門口,再急的情况那部門都會幫你。」

不愧為先進社會。我的學生唧唧稱奇,果然超方便,不消一會便到達那部門——急症室。

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No Jokes: Asperger Zone by FL (Teen Writer)

One day, a sweet little 7-year-old boy saw his father texting someone secretively. Lately, the boy’s parents have been going through some rough patches, they often shout each other. The boy had a suspicion that his father was having a secret girlfriend. The boy believed that his mom deserved someone better. “Dad, Mom needs a better boyfriend, do you have anyone in mind?” he said innocently “because you should introduce him to her.”

七歲男孩見父母近日多吵鬧很同情媽媽,他不明白媽媽為何與這種男人結婚。一次他見到父親獨坐在一⻆用手提電話發短訊,引起男孩思疑父親有不可告人的秘密或正在找新女朋友,於是他簡單直截問爸爸:「你認識一個好男人嗎?」他更向爸建議說:「我想你介紹媽媽一個男朋友。」