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破悶局:開創有意義的人生之旅吧!

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今日有個初中生來見我,他說聖誕假期間大部分時間待在家中無所事事,其間爸媽好幾次提出帶他到外面逛逛,但他覺得商場或食市不外如是沒什麼值得看。眨眼間假期已過了一半,他突然覺醒到内心有份惰性,何解自己终日呆坐客廳的梳化上活像「木乃衣」沒動過似的,只顧電玩,由早到晚玩下去,到底人玩遊戲機,抑或遊戲機玩人?

很難說清。

我問他是否感受過分「平坦」(「平坦」一詞乃出自我另一愛徒,她用作形容一些人先天不足分辨個人感受的敏銳力。我覺得她的說法生動有趣,且富有立體感)?
回想過去幾個月他適應新學校期間,最常掛在口邊的話就只是「好擔心」和「好悶」,沒提起別的感受。間中功課壓力較低的時段,他心情舒暢時也樂於討論學校生活的點滴,例如課後的義工活動及校園文化等。但隨了一、兩個星期有此閒情,其餘的日子就是為功課擔憂。他靜心一想也察覺到自己的主導感覺不外是「擔心」或「沉悶」。

他更形容這個聖誕假自己似進入「退休」甚或「退化」狀態。雖然他喜歡閱讀和寫作,但過去十天就是提不起勁。更奇怪的是,他本來不抗拒找小學舊同學又或與家人外出逛逛,可惜最終就是敵不過心中那股悶氣,一想到不外如是,便覺得多一事不如少一事。待在家算了。

我只好提醒他俯心自問是否甘願受悶氣主宰他一生?幸好,他説不!

後來,他又問我是否應該找些工作令自己保持忙碌?我反問他忙碌是否等同活得有意義?要知道「充實」有別於「充塞」。究竟他是否缺乏動機做有意義的事呢?他稍微縐一縐眉頭沉思了一會,很認真地答:「我沒有動機上的問題,我只缺乏起動力,起步後我可以持續下去,直至完成任務為止。」我的確很佩服這個少年,他的思考、自省和表達能力非常高,與他對話蠻有意思。

假如他的情緒波幅比較「平坦」,應考慮讓他及早加入某種對他富有意義的義務工作。何解?如果靠他的感覺做決定,我猜是非必要他會選擇呆在家中,因為外出對他來說亦不見得有什麼驚喜。久而久之,不單社會上又潻一個「宅男」,更糟是長期缺乏待人處世的經驗,他將錯失了學習社交技能的黃金期。試問中學階段已墮入「網絡遊戲的虛幻世界」,他日進入大學或工作階段時,他與一些投入群體活動的朋輩會否有一段距離,那時怎應付呢?難道又抱怨説生活壓力太大,必要的任務以外謝絕社交生活,繼續孤獨終老?反觀義務工作令他有機會接觸更多有貧困或弱勢社群或病苦有需要的人,若有較圓備的培育配套便能大大促進他的心智靈全面發展。

趁升中過渡期,我這位愛徒實在有必要面對新要求。我建議他參與一些義務工作,助己助人,發揮所長。如果有需要的話,大可以花一㸃心思開創一個義工團隊呢!讓我找他的父母商量一下如何幫助這小子克服「情緒波幅平坦」早日開創豐盛生命之旅。

事不宜遲!

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Teen Thoughts 101: How Fortunate I am…

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Source: http://www.sheknows.com/

I love this time of the year – the weather, hot chocolate, hot water bottles, cuddling up with the family, and so much more. To me, Christmas is about spending time with your family and going to church to celebrate the birth of Jesus. But then I hear my friends just looking forward to their presents they receive and all. I guess it’s about family tradition. Different families celebrate Christmas in their different ways.

While I lay in my bed, and hear my Dad watching television, my mum making jokes, and my sister laughing. I realise how fortunate I am to have my family. How fortunate I am to have a bed I can sleep in. How I don’t need to worry about whether I will have enough food tomorrow or not, and so much more. It makes me think of other people that may not be as fortunate as I am. They might not have a shelter they can keep safe in, or a family, or enough food.

I think that we should all take a moment, and be happy with what we get and what we have now, and remember that there are plenty of people around the world who aren’t half as fortunate as us.

I hope you all have a wonderful time with your family and friends! Happy holidays! 

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How Long Could It Last?

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“Merry Christmas” was heard everywhere over the past few days. How happy has it been? Frankly speaking, I wonder how long such happiness can last.

As I look at the photo of the Christmas Banquet for the poor, the weak and the underprivileged brothers and sisters that I took part this year, I am amazed by the inner joy of being there. My happiness has not been expired even though Christmas holiday is over now!

How fortunate that I could share my feelings about this Christmas Banquet with my student who showed interest in what volunteer services I have been doing.

By then, I discover where lasting joy is out of sacrifice and compassion. This photo actually reminds me of the truth of love.

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聖𧩙是……

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聖𧩙是普天同慶,傳揚愛與平安的日子,不少人四出購物玩樂與友好聚首又或與家人外遊。

今年,我選擇與老人、露宿者、貧困甚或一些被社會所遺棄的朋友同度聖𧩙。由早上十時離家到晚上九時才返家,一整天,我們一家四口一齊出動,参與慈雲山教堂専誠邀請老弱窮困者的聖𧩙午餐和晚餐,午晚兩餐共有來賓約一百六十人,義工不下佰人包括了傳菜員、用餐服務員、厨務、清潔、歌舞表演、攝影等等。

他們選了我作司儀,我的任務是搞好氣氛。當我見丈夫很投入做總務打點東西,而女兒們也積極幫手我感到很快慰。我一直都擔心小女兒不接受聖𧩙節家人用一整天時間,來服務有需要的人,為他人的心傳愛送温。怎料小女兒今年聖誕竟在學校邀請了兩個要好的同學参與今天的義工行列。她令我何等自豪!

這個聖誕節我没有出外找快樂,我在内心深處找到了快樂,沒想過我充满那麼多能量可為在塲每一個人帶來快樂,更没想過我們服務的人能给我們帶來深層的喜樂和平安。

這個聖誕讓我心充實和快慰。我没有外出玩樂,想不到我在內心找到一切,一切我渴求的愛。

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