Proud of autism

  
Image source: the Guardian

Social Quota

  
Image source: sugarzen.wordpress.com

“Social quota” refers to the amount of energy one affords in dealing with social interaction.  To what extent is social interaction enjoyable? Actually it varies with your personality characteristics, mood and settings.  For individuals with Aspergers or high functioning autism, interaction with people can drain their energy dramatically especially in topics not exactly of their genuine interests.  It is, therefore, good to be aware of the variations of “social quota” of oneself before stretching too thin.  For example, I was going out for a movie last night with 10 people.  We had dinner and then movie.  I found staying over for a chat after the movie a bit over my “social quota”.  In order to maintain my emotion balance, I preferred going home to staying over after the movie.  Self understanding and emotion wellbeing matters.

Watching Disney Movie with My Asperger Students

  
Image source: http://www.manipalblog.com

Brain science prevails.  Here we got a movie about the functions and interaction of major emotions, long term memory, language, abstract thinking, imagination and so forth. I hope more children especially my Asperger students will increase their understanding about how their mind is affected by their emotion and memory.  I like this movie because it merges science and art of story telling in such a comprehensible way.  I shall recommend more friends to bring their children to watch Inside-out. 

手機羣組與「裸」談

亜斯(Asperger Syndrome 亞斯伯格症)爸遇上亞斯仔怎麽辦？這位爸爸在智能電話開設了一個又一個的羣組將有關家事揍仔的疑難與人分享。可惜，夫妻二人溝通不來，外圍的友好根本幫不了局中人。當亞斯兒子ADHD(Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder專注力失調).ODD(Oppositional Deviant Disorder對抗行為)發作時，亞斯爸試問如何招架得來？！我也漸漸明白為何「裸談」幾乎是唯一出路。

亞

Afternoon Tea with a Mom of a HFA Son

i was introduced to a mother of a son with High Functioning Autism (HFA) this afternoon. She is an executive working in a hospital.  She shares stories about how she has gone through the difficult transition of her son to post-secondary education between 2011-2014 in Hong Kong.  She advocates for her son through faculty, government department and Equal Opportunities Commission tackling numerous obstacles.  While I admire the courage and persistence of the mother, I am very impressed by the talent and extraordinary effort of her son in transition and participation in higher education. After graduation, her son continues further education in France.  I wish more people to share the advocacy journey and be inspired.  

 
Image source: http://www.seia.org

Swearing at the Asperger parent: Any ground rules?

My Asperger friend who has never performed as full time carer at home before, agrees to take care of his 12 years old son during the vacation of his wife.  He tries so hard to put up with the behavior of his son, including swearing at his face.  He told me that his primary concern was to be in good terms with his son.  I wonder if my friend understands why and how respect of parent matters.  

  
Image source: http://www.scriptmag.com
 

Unusual parenting challenge: Asperger father and Asperger son

Living with autism is incredibly challenging in a family with an Asperger father and an Asperger son.  Both father and son need to establish the rapport to survive daily stress.  What unique challenge would there be? And who can help them? What preparation should a professional in the field be equipped? 

  
Image source: lifestyle.howstuffworks.com

「天降大任」：警世之言

  

由愛情經驗出發：亞氏保加大學生的成長與生活輔導 作者KC

Image source: my.englishclub.com
老師:我知道你剛開展了亞氏保加大學生的服務計劃。而主題是由”愛情”入手，可否形容一下？

K: “從愛情方面入手” 只是我現時對亞氏保加大學生身心健康發展指導的其中一部分。

由於我在大學主修心理學，並有一個相識多時而大家感情發展穩定的女朋友，過著數年 「長期分隔異地的戀情」， 彼此都還能保持感情愉快。這樣背景造就了我擔任朋輩之間關系與溝通 (包括友情，或男女感情) 的調解與輔導者，一些朋友或舊同學往往”看中”我的心理學背景加上這些調解紛爭的經驗會找我幫助。值得一提的是，我發現有些朋輩之間的”感情糾紛”正正就是建基於其中一方 (甚至雙方) 帶有亞氏保加症的特質，他們情感/溝通上的缺陷往往在深層次交往上 (例如大學生活的舍堂關系、兄弟決裂、情侶不和等)顯露出來，漸漸引發至一連串的感情與友情疑惑。而我以朋輩的身份耹聽和調解這種糾紛，一方面減少代溝的出現，同時我的個人經驗與心理學專業知識亦有助我協調制造出一個有效、雙贏的局面。

老師：這確是一項重要的服務計劃啊！那麼除了朋輩之間的 “衝突調解員” 之外，你還可能怎樣幫助他們？

K：俗語有云：因誤會而結合，因了解而分開。很多時候，朋輩的衝突、糾紛只是一個問題的開端，我當然不能排除好些問題是單純出於彼此之間性格不合、價值觀不相同而產生。但每當這些問題剛好是源於一方/雙方之間的亞氏保加特質而起，我所擔當的任務就不再限於解決當前這朋友/情侶間的紛爭，而是長遠的身心與個人發展上的生活輔導，從旁尋找問題的癥結所在，慢慢重建他們的溝通能力、人際關系技巧，令他們的生活重回正軌。最後，不只是幫他們挽回差點爆發的愛情危機，往往亦能預防友情以至工作間人際關系的衝突。

老師：你的服務計劃涉及個人多方面的成長與發展，很有意義。你有什麼發展策略？

其實早在我大學生堐期間已經開始我作為輔導者的角色，在朋輩間至今已處理過幾次源於亞氏保加特質而起的衝突、糾紛。而我尚淺的年齡正好為我提供了莫大的優勢，能夠變成一位亦師亦友的角色，使我能夠準確地提供適合於他們這種年齡層的溝通、行為意見，符合這年齡層的生活方式與價值觀。

「清明拜祭的疑惑」——不是説笑

欠缺社交想像力(Social imagination difficulties)

清明節早上，一家人在計劃做什麼。

丈夫：「今早去那裏？」
太太：「當然是拜山？」
兩夫婦等了兩個女兒好一會，時間已差不多中午了。丈夫駕着車在居處樓下等，十二時許，卒之大家登上了車。
丈夫再問：「去那裏？」
太太：「還要問麼？當然是拜山。」
丈夫：「你們說早上去拜山，但現在已中午了，不知是不是拜山。」
太太：「我們不是早已決定了嗎？」
丈夫：「OK，那便開車送你們拜山吧。」
太太：「你們？你不與大家同去嗎？」
丈夫：「我聽到你們早上要拜山，但沒聽見你們要求我中午去拜山。」
太太雙手抓住頭髮，氣結得瀕臨崩潰。
大女兒：「媽，吩咐他現在出發去墳場，一起去拜山就是了。」
小女兒乾脆把耳機戴上聽歌。